Language – Insults – Geoff's Blogs

Most people have a very fluid idea about was an insult is, but Wikipedia tells us that it’s an expression, statement, or behaviour that is often deliberately disrespectful, offensive, scornful, or derogatory towards an individual or a group.

Insults are not swear words, or simple jokes, and some people consider insults as a primary form of social interaction.

Here a few examples:-

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
Chin up. That’s right, both of them.
Ah, but if you are hear… who is harassing sailors at sea?
I’m glad I didn’t disappointed you. I wish you could have afforded me the same courtesy.
You clean up nice.
Isn’t it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence?
You are the reason why shampoo has instructions.
I don’t know what your problem is, but I’m guessing it’s hard to pronounce.
Please just tell me you don’t plan to home-school your kids.
It’s so cute when you try to talk about things you don’t understand.
You may fear success, but you really have nothing to worry about.
I’m sorry I offended you with my common sense.
Learn from your parents’ mistakes, use birth control.

Backhanded compliments

A backhanded (or left-handed) compliment, or asteism, is an insult that is disguised as, or accompanied by, a compliment, especially in situations where the belittling or condescension is intentional. Some examples are:-

You look most presentable in this light.
How quaint! I envy your courage!
I can assure you that I did not mean to accidentally insult you.
Those colours are so hard to combine successfully, yet here you are wearing them.
You’re making this dinner far more . . . entertaining, than I thought it would be.
You are the strong, silent type, aren’t you? Thank goodness!
I admire your choice of attire! It truly speaks for your carefree attitude!
I always feel more intelligent after talking to you.
Conversing with you reminds me why education is so important.
Happy birthday! You don’t look 60, but I still remember when you did!
You’re so wonderfully free of the restraints of polite society.
That’s a beautiful photo of you. I didn’t recognise you at first.
Your house feels so cozy and lived in.
I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
I’ve been called worse things by better men.
I’ll never forget the first time we met. But I’ll keep trying.
I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
You look smart, today!
I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
I love a battle of wits, but you appear unarmed.
I like the way you try.
I may be lonely, but I’m not desperate.
I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew.
Don’t take yourself so seriously, no one else does.

Insults according to the bard

Somebody lodged a ranking of Shakespearean insults, as so:-

What, you egg! (Macbeth)
This sanguine coward, this bed-presser, this horsebackbreaker, this huge hill of flesh (Henry IV, Part 1)
His wit’s as thick as a Tewkesbury mustard (Henry IV, Part 2)
How, now, thou crusty batch of nature! What’s the news? (Troilus and Cressida)
Thou damned and luxurious mountain goat (Henry V)
Peace, ye fat guts (Henry IV, Pat 1)
You scullion! You rampallian! You fustilarian! (Henry IV, Part 2)
No man’s pie is freed from his ambitious finger (Henry VIII)
Go thou, and fill another room in hell (Richard II)
Sell your face for five pence and tis’ dear (King John)